72� and crickets in november

November 10, 2006 3:08 p.m.

We have guests over for the weekend, one of Mom�s high school classmates and her husband and son from New Jersey who are somewhere on campus now checking out the engineering departments. While talking with the son last night, it hit me that I was having difficulty revisiting my mindset from high school and that he, in turn, probably saw me as Very Old. Four years of research and traveling and new friends and REAL CLASSES and TEXTBOOKS WE GET TO KEEP and DESIGNING OUR OWN SCHEDULES have permanently blurred for me the memories of high school. (Five days of class from 7:30 to 3:00? How did we survive?)

What I found most striking in our conversation was his uncertainty about the subjects that truly interested him. It took me back to sophomore year, when I was taking a weird mish-mash of classes just in case I ended up declaring a major in Spanish (check) or auditioning again for piano (splat). Who doesn�t remember the struggles about whether you cared enough about such-and-such to earn a degree in it? Who doesn�t have a friend who started out in mechanical engineering and, last you checked, was studying psych and business? Who knows what crazy experiences will completely alter this kid�s view of himself in the next four years?

But for those of us out of college or on the verge of graduation, those kinds of experiences are over and done with (for now). We�ve chosen and made peace with our decisions, and so we�re a little surprised to remember that not so long ago there was, in fact, that fork in the road. I used to have music-major envy? I was previously torn about Peace Corps? I didn�t know whether I was applying for grad school this year? Heck, just last month I was still on the fence about studying behavior versus conservation? (I�ve since thrown myself avidly into behavior, in case you missed the �yay, animal communication!� theme lurking underfoot.) You roll with your choices and before you know it, they�re a part of who you are. It�s so weird to look back, and I�m fully aware that this pattern will only continue for the rest of my life. Which is why it�s always been fun to read old journal entries, because I sort of just snort at who I was a couple years ago.

So it was almost poignant to detect in his admissions essay the fine line between indecision and commitment to a field of study. The same thoughts occurred to me when, in teaching the freshman research seminar last semester, I wondered what kind of people my students would be in 2010. (I mean, I could stalk them through Facebook, but I�m not that curious.) And in turn, perhaps my own parents and teachers thought the same of me and my brother and my friends as we grew up. Maybe?

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1) I visited Bella today and promised to come by to revive some old pieces for fun, since I haven�t really played since May. I also signed up to do lion dance with Mokyi�s crew after teaching CAPSA, am going to karate tonight (birthday party for Sensei Jongsen) and thus conclude I have a harmful addiction to packed schedules.

2) �Borat� was hysterical. I�m seeing �Babel� tomorrow, and if it�s anything like �Amores perros� (which it�s supposed to be), I�ll be dizzy and hollow-eyed the rest of the evening.

3) I was about to write something about the elections, but I probably wouldn�t add anything new. Here�s a great analysis in the New York Times.

4) The GRE kicked my ass. Sigh.

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